Saturday, 8 October 2016

How to Deal With Bully

One question, have you ever had to deal with a bully? 
If yes, you can easily relate with this post If no, then you may see this as strange!

Trust me, it is a frightening experience. In fact, it can be downright traumatic. It creates so much unnecessary stress. It is not always about what actually happens. More often, the stress is caused by the fear of not knowing what will happen and the victim spends his or her days feeling anxious and insecure.

Image result for images of bully

A bully feels a need to intimidate other people. They prey on those who are shy or insecure. Children who are victimized, battle to cope with the demanding pressures at school. The bully constantly interrupts their social and academic life and the victim finds it difficult to make any progress.
There are different types of bullying. The most common is physical bullying. The bully is usually bigger and stronger than the person he or she is bullying. Physical attacks like slapping, kicking, punching and shoving may occur on a daily basis. Verbal bullying may take place prior to the physical attack. The victim is insulted and belittled in front of others. It may include name-calling. The intention of the bully is to hurt the victim emotionally. Relational aggression is another form of bullying. The bully will tease, criticize, manipulate or intimidate the victim. False rumors may be spread and the victim is either ignored or excluded in activities. Cyber-bullying is also a form of bullying. Bullies take full advantage of technology day and night. They bully via cell phones, texting menacing messages or leaving frightening voice mail messages for their victims. They use the internet and bully through emails, chat rooms and social networks.

Why do children bully others? In most cases, they want to escape from their own problems. Some children think that they will be more popular if they appear to be stronger and more powerful than others. Some children bully because they are jealous of other children or because they are being bullied themselves.

Children cannot solve this problem on their own. Many of them become silent victims because they believe they have nowhere to go for support. They are either frightened or embarrassed to talk about the problem. Most of the time, the bullies convince them that if they talk, things will only get worse. Unfortunately, many victims adhere to these threats and continue to suffer in silence.

Bullying is one of growing dimensions. Once identified, parents and teachers should work together to help the bully and the victim. Many books and magazine or Internet articles that deal with bullying are available to parents and teachers. Getting help from qualified counselors may also be necessary in severe cases.

It is important to reiterate, children cannot solve this problem on their own. Ignoring the problem will not make it disappear. If the problem isn't dealt with during childhood, it may continue into adulthood with dire consequences.

Parents and teachers need to teach children that throughout life everyone has to make refinements in the way they treat other people. The best way to teach this is through example.

If you are a victim of bullying, try the following:
Image result for images of bully  

1. Build confidence:

Learn to be confident. It's not your fault that the bully is victimizing you. You are a unique and amazing person. You are more resilient than you know. Find an adult you trust and confide in him or her. You can't keep quiet about what is happening to you.


2. Be assertive:
Protect yourself by walking away. The bully wants you to retaliate or show weakness. Tell the bully as calmly as possible that you are not interested in his or her aggression and leave. Bullies want to control you. Show the bully that you are in control of yourself.


3. Change your perspective:
When you see the bully, you may feel scared. Instead of seeing the bully as someone who can hurt you, look at him or her as someone who is unhappy. The bully is a very frustrated person and needs help. Feel sorry for him or her. That will help you to control your fear.

4. Don't surrender to being bullied: 
You don't have to be a victim. The thing with life is that when we love ourselves, we will love others. When we hate ourselves, we will hate others. Let your light shine in the dark world. Love yourself enough and be happy so that you can show the world that you have the better choice: the choice not to be a victim.

Dealing with a bully creates unnecessary stress. It is not always about what actually happens. More often, the stress is caused by the fear of not knowing what will happen. Victims spend a lot of time feeling anxious and insecure. Bullies intimidate, manipulate and humiliate others. They prey on the shy and weaker ones. They shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. Their behaviour leaves permanent physical or emotional scars on their victims. We need to stop bullying and try a safer option!
Image result for images of bully
What can you do if you are a victim?
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