Thursday, 9 February 2017

Top Obstacles Ladies Must Overcome To Make 2017 A Marital Success

We are five weekends into 2017 and some ladies of age are yet to secure a “real” and "valid" relationship let alone walk down the aisle! Apart from personal reasons (some ladies just prefer to stay single), there could be some things you are doing or not doing that is making 2017 weekends fly over you!

Every time one attends a show (social or religious), and the single ladies who wants to get married soon are asked to come out, you will be shocked at the number of people that would flock the stage! If you look closely you may even see a married lady among them who wants a change! This is to say that the number of single girls ready to get married is actually more than the number of guys ready to settle down!
Aside deliberately choosing to remain single, the major cause of ladies staying longer than they should as singles is the lackadaisical attitude they put up!
Here are some attitudes that can become obstacles to single ladies and cause delay in settling down when you should.

1. Cultural Embargo: 
It just crazily funny how you see single ladies say that whoever they want to get married to must be from their part of the world! They hold so firmly to this belief that they snub whoever is not from their place not minding the stuff the guy is made of! Ever heard of diverse culture? Or intercultural? Or interbreeding? Or mixed culture? All these aren’t alien words or stereotyped words. While, it's good to heed to parent's advice (because they are the architect of this mindset), it is also good you go where you heart is taking you! For me, I won’t mind and Egyptian or even Sudanese! They are all humans for God’s sake! That they are not from your place doesn’t make them less humans or less marriageable. Well, I will be around to book mass and say prayers with you when you enter your late thirties and still waiting for your savior from your place! My advice, follow your heart! Listen to third parties only when there is a good reason to!

2. High Unrealistic Expectations In Qualities:
Who hasn’t heard the famous chatter: I need a faithful guy, I need a handsome guy, I need a tall guy, I need a godly guy, I need a mature guy, I need a guy good with kids, I need a guy who drink socially, I need a guy who is a good cook..... and so on? Well, it’s good to have a clear definition of the kind of guy you need to settle with. But it becomes absurd when you start counting unrealistic qualities and expecting to get someone who has everything you have dreamt of! 
Image result for cartoon images of perfect man

Trust me. if you want a “perfect” man with all the qualities you want then you just have to get to work to create one yourself! My advice, write what you really need in him. A goal not written is a wish. Wishes aren't horses anymore so get ready to make them a reality. While writing, remember that wanting a man that can cook just because you can't, is denying yourself of the core essence that makes you a mother, wife and a woman. Learn how to cook, and he can be there to assist.
True, you can’t get a perfect man with all these qualities but you can groom him to be as perfect as you want. But don’t make him your puppet in the end!

3. Unrealistic Financial Expectations:
Most times you just hear ladies say: if he's not earning 6 figures and above, I'm not interested! Funny enough, these ladies are people who have never earned 5 figures by themselves all their lives! To me I see such excuse and expectation as inappropriate! Are you saying if the money is not there you would prefer to remain single? I will only take that excuse if you are disabled and can’t do much to make money yourself! Infact, the new trend should be – no job (even the smallest one) no marriage for ladies! This way, they will understand the pains it take to make money are be a breadwinner of the family!
Its so shocking how a guy can just buy one “little” car and you see girls all over him! They forget the love of their life and go after the one with a car! And when that one gets what he wants and leave them, they go on social media and start giving 101 reasons why guys are mean! My advice, don’t let wealth blind you and push you away from the one who has genuine plans for you! You may leave him today for someone else you think is richer and tomorrow he might appear on the chart for the world richest man (check for Dangote’s and Bell’s humble beginning! If you are that obsessed with wealth then go look for it yourself! And who knows, guys will start queuing up to even have a chat with you! Who doesn’t want that!.

4. War With Future In-Laws: 
Some girls would publicly come out to say that if a guy truly loves them then he would put them above his family. Well, its good you are given preferential treatment but you don’t expect to be treated like the boss even when you both haven’t started making wedding plans! Some girls have not yet become a part of the family and their character is already ruining their chances of becoming a part of it. In- laws deserve respect! They made your spouse what he is before you met him and naturally you are not supposed to drag that space with them! The only thing you can fight for as the mother of his kids is to occupy a larger space in his heart and be the number one woman in his life. But you should never try to deprive them of the respect and love they ought to get from him too! They are humans like you. And trust me, to a large extent they can decide if you will marry their brother/son or not so just respect yourself and be the good girl they expect you to be!

5. Immaturity In Handling Little Matters: 
The most embarrassing statement I have heard is “He forgot my birthday!” the most annoying statement I have also heard is what follows, “he's not worth being my ideal guy. So I broke up with him.” Are you kidding me? I don’t doubt the person that said girls are crazy! He forgot your birthday or an anniversary so what? Well, it may be wrong for him to forget your birthday but is breaking up with him the only way to solve the problem? Okay now he’s gone, will you also break up with the next person if he also forgets your birthday? I wish you luck in your breaking up adventure! 
Image result for cartoon images of perfect man 
 
Till you clock 40 before you realize that all these things don’t matter and its quite immature to rant and yell and nag over very trivial issues that naturally should be overlooked! 
6. Unforgiving: 
I'm not perfect but I know that not forgiving one another pulls one back and also separates two lovebirds. If he cheated on you for the first time and he reports himself that it was a mistake, you can close your eyes skip the break up and forgive him. Just give him another chance. But on the other hand, if he does it continuously without any remorse, you may want to move on to a more “serious” relationship where you will be valued more.
Holding unto a grudge will not really help you! Remembering all the annoying things he did to you and usinf them against him will not help much! My advice, let go of things that are not threatening to the relationship and focus on making it stronger.

7. Pride:
Pride and ego are another reason why some ladies are still lonely. They can’t be humble enough to reply a guy who chats them up and they can act like they don’t care when he starts showing interest. Some girls even go ahead to say “I am not interested even before he introduces himself! But these same girls are the ones who will cry down heaven once he turns around due to their lack of interest! My advice, relax and listen to what he has to say before concluding that he is after you! If he shows interest, open up to him if you are also interested or politely turn him down if you are not!

8. Not Praying At The Appropriate Time:
Well, there may be no right or wrong time to pray but I tell you there are cases where you forget to pray at he appropriate time. For instance, a single who has the intention of getting married someday MUST always remember to pray for her future husband (whether seen or yet to be seen) right from the first day she realies that she too must get married. She would always remember to include that in her daily prayers and also add that he get to her soon. But the problem with most ladies today is that they fail to pray about it (some hardly pray at all) until they are past 30years then you see them become a regular church attendant, buy all the available prayer books and even fast on Sundays! This is something they would have done long ago but because they feel everything is alright, they relax and watch till they get above thirty and they start doing what they ought to have done long ago!
Image result for cartoon images of praying lady 
 
My advice, pray always! When prayer, include your future husband in your prayers even if you are not ready to get married soon. Don’t wait until you are past the 30 before you start attending vigils and prayer houses!
Related image 
 
Lastly, always remember God and keep reminding him to give you the person He knows will be good for you! Most importantly, respect yourself always and be polite around people so you don’t scare your future husband away!
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Model, Computer Techie, PR, Social Media Marketer, App Developer, Freelancer, Blogger! . . . Oh, I forgot to add Social Worker! Plus, I like writing my thoughts down! . . AND . . I LOVE making new FRIENDS! . . . Contact me on social media -- Rosy Omeje

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